How to ask your friend if shes gay

How Do I Help My Gay Friend?

by D’Ann Davis

“How do I help my gay friend?” This is a question we listen constantly in the Living Hope office, when out speaking at events, or from friends and church members from around the world. Twenty years ago few Christians asked this question, for few knew any same gender attracted people, or if they did know them, they were ignorant to their friend’s struggles. Today almost everyone knows of someone who identifies as lgbtq+ or deals with a measure of same gender attractions. Even if a Christian finds himself in a season of animation where he does not personally know of a same gender attracted (SGA) person in his sphere of influence, this doubt is of utmost importance in light of the change of our tradition and the growing willingness of Christians dealing with SGA to openly speak about their issues. So how does one facilitate a gay-identified friend or SGA friend?

The first response I typically give to this question is actually another question. “Does your friend know Jesus?” This is a vital first question any believer must tackle before attempting to help a friend deal with her sexual attractions. This is because there are two different rou

How to know if a girl is gay - How to tell if a girl is a lesbian, bisexual or queer

Figuring out if someone you're chatting to (maybe flirting with, who the fuck even knows?) is also queer can be a goddam minefield. Sure, some people may have the guts to just declare it, but not everyone does OK?!

Here, 10 lesbian, bisexual and pansexual women explain how they know if someone's potentially into them

How to recognize if someone is a lesbian, gay, bisexual or queer

Ask a question about their past relationships/crushes

"I'm bisexual. I find that I can tell when women are into me through things like body language, like how shut they'll sit next to me, or how much they might touch my arm. By flirtatious conversation, and hints/references to previous girlfriends, or female dates. I have no plan how scientific something fond of 'gaydar' is, but I found that I would often have this intuitive feeling that another female was gay/bisexual just through my opening conversations with them (and picking up subconscious cues in their body language).

"And, people have claimed to own the same sense about me as well. So when I suspect it, I might just request a question during the convers

How Do I Demand a Girl If She’s Lesbian or Queer?

Despite more people than ever feeling free to show up out as their authentic selves, a common lesbian effort remains – figuring out whether a girl is same-sex attracted. Although being gender non-conforming doesn’t need to be defined by a ‘look’, it can be especially hard to narrate when she doesn’t meet those ‘stereotypical’ characteristics. If your gaydar is going off, but you’re not quite certain, there are many ways you can go about asking someone if they are gay or in the Homosexual spectrum.

If you’re romantically interested in this person, it might feel like a nerve-wracking conversation to bring up. Putting yourself out there is hard, but it’s only when we step out of our comfort zones that we can make connections with others! If you still can’t bring yourself to ask the vast question, “Are you gay or what?” don’t fret. There are plenty of more subtle ways you can approach the subject of sexuality.

Keep reading to learn how to ask your teen crush if she’s gay, as successfully as what to do with your answer to accept things to the next level.

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Just Ask!

The most obvious way to ask if a girl is same-sex attracted is to just ask – plain and simple. You can ask upfront,

So, it happened. You include a crush on a friend. Whether it’s your first time or you find yourself in a pattern here, you’re not alone. It’s a time-honored tradition in the gay community to fall for a friend. Don’t panic! Here at Autostraddle, we’ve been giving people suggestion on this topic for over a decade, and today I’ve helpfully compiled that advice into this overall guide that will hopefully enable you to totally crush this ally crush. Whether that looks like “making a relocate and taking things to the next level” or “moving on,” we’ve got the tools to aide you figure it out.

Of course, there’s no one way to deal with a crush on a friend, as our often varying and even opposite advice from different perspectives will show! But we’re going to try to cover as many sides as possible here, so you can pick and choose which suits you and your situation.

This tip is mainly geared toward situations in which the friend you have a crush on is lgbtq+. My sincere advice for anyone crushing on a straight friend is to take some space from that friend while you can and work on adjusting some of your expecta

If Someone Comes Out to You

Someone who is coming out feels close enough to you and trusts you sufficiently to be trustworthy and risk losing you as a friend. It can be difficult to know what to say and what to do to be a supportive friend to someone who has “come out” to you. Below are some suggestions you may wish to follow.

Thank your comrade for having the courage to inform you. Choosing to tell you means that they own a great deal of respect and trust for you.
Don’t assess your friend. If you have robust religious or other beliefs about LGBTIQ communitites, keep them to yourself for now. There will be plenty of time in the future for you to think and talk about your beliefs in brightness of your friend’s identity.
Respect your friend’s confidentiality. Allow them the integrity to contribute what they crave , when and how they want to.
Tell your friend that you still care about them, no matter what. Be the friend you hold always been. The main fear for people coming out is that their friends and family will reject them.
Don’t be too serious. Sensitively worded humor may ease the tension you are both probably feeling.
Ask questions you may have, but understand that your friend